yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
