you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
