Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
