my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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