It's Friday. Sex?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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