i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
