i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
