Where did you get a picture of my penis
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
