Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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