it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
