so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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