I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
