i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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