The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
