But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
