Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
