Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
