...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
