Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize