Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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