white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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