Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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