i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
