Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
