Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Panties = found
Randomize
