is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
