yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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