Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
