I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
