well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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