never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
