There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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