I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
