her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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