Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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