How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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