well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I deserve this hangover.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
