is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
