what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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