do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
