no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
