Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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