dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
