we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
