No stitches, just platelets and will power
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
