Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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