Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
