lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
