what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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