What a fucking waste of an outfit
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
